im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
