A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
