Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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