Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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