you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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