I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She announced her abortion via fbk
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
