Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
