please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
