so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
