yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
