Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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