I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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