i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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