I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize