Whod you bang
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Drunk is not a location!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
