Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
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Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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