I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
