hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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