I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.