3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it's great music for shaving your balls
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you