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• (817): View more from Texas

  Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  just thought you should know her name is kristen

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd

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  These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.

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  The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Paige is home safe.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I love you. Go after that dick

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