Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
