4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize