I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
