So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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