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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
