Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
