pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
