there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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