Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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