Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
