Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
