All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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