I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
im on a boat
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