Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
