wakey wakey hands off snakey
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
