Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
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