does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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