i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
