oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
