I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
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honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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