she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
