I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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