You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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