How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!