This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
