Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

(617): View more from Massachusetts

he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

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(919): i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off (617): he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich. http://tfl.nu/ubgv

Replies (28) Good night (2767) Bad night (836)
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(905): View more from Toronto

he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"

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(905): he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine" http://tfl.nu/dcrf

Replies (23) Good night (1579) Bad night (4484)
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(817): View more from Texas

God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist

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(817): God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist http://tfl.nu/ubmz

Replies (12) Good night (1498) Bad night (5418)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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(+44): just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown. (+44): before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN http://tfl.nu/72q0

Replies (28) Good night (8736) Bad night (1449)
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(914): View more from New York

She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.

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(914): She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles. http://tfl.nu/pzt3

Replies (19) Good night (1975) Bad night (6430)
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(631): View more from New York

ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight

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(631): ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight http://tfl.nu/dytu

Replies (30) Good night (2720) Bad night (644)
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(807): View more from Ontario

Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath

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(807): Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath http://tfl.nu/x0dh

Replies (7) Good night (2675) Bad night (601)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

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(919): I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle" http://tfl.nu/r7nr

Replies (6) Good night (3844) Bad night (763)
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(703): View more from Virginia

that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis

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(703): that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis http://tfl.nu/car4

Replies (7) Good night (1104) Bad night (528)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

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(479): I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital http://tfl.nu/kjdp

Replies (9) Good night (992) Bad night (475)
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(623): View more from Arizona

I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day

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(623): I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day http://tfl.nu/dbnn

Replies (6) Good night (425) Bad night (752)
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(702): View more from Nevada

We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.

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(702): We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly. http://tfl.nu/ykqa

Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (271)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.

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(978): I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors. http://tfl.nu/8d4k

Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (282)
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(619): View more from California

If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now

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(619): If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now http://tfl.nu/lp2e

Replies (4) Good night (329) Bad night (547)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed

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(609): at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed http://tfl.nu/o3zy

Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (355)

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