Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market

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  (586): I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market http://tfl.nu/4otb
  Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (1021)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't watch pbs sober anymore

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  (617): I can't watch pbs sober anymore http://tfl.nu/lnl5
  Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (591)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  i dont think thats weird i think thats fun

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird

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  (401): he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places. (1-401): i dont think thats weird i think thats fun (401): i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird http://tfl.nu/88jj
  Replies (11) Good night (785) Bad night (2204)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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  (713): i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better http://tfl.nu/apc9
  Replies (3) Good night (918) Bad night (2349)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom

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  (806): apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom http://tfl.nu/lh1h
  Replies (11) Good night (1433) Bad night (3547)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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  (708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME" http://tfl.nu/3lzs
  Replies (39) Good night (10299) Bad night (813)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.

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  (207): Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask. http://tfl.nu/6wlk
  Replies (6) Good night (2929) Bad night (1155)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars

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  (228): There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars http://tfl.nu/ue2i
  Replies (4) Good night (3273) Bad night (931)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

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  (706): Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note http://tfl.nu/2uyq
  Replies (5) Good night (4403) Bad night (1004)
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  (626): View more from California

  It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.

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  (626): It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned. http://tfl.nu/eehp
  Replies (5) Good night (2111) Bad night (814)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I have a surprise for you

  (1-254): View more from Texas

  Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!

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  (254): I have a surprise for you (1-254): Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy! http://tfl.nu/af5l
  Replies (5) Good night (2519) Bad night (689)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.

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  (407): I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water. http://tfl.nu/vrnp
  Replies (1) Good night (1029) Bad night (780)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?

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  (678): Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend? http://tfl.nu/mjnu
  Replies (15) Good night (2153) Bad night (1079)
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  (760): View more from California

  I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.

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  (760): I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment. http://tfl.nu/vulx
  Replies (2) Good night (947) Bad night (577)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?

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  (847): Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility? http://tfl.nu/rg25
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (696)

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