hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
