I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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