I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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