dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
