ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
