we have officially lost it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
