actually, I'm a sock model
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
