so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
