I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
