TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
