can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize