Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
