The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I will be naked everywhere
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
