He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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