I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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