when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
