I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
