First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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