You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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