No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
