I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
