In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
