Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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