Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
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and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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