Can i not drive my cunt home
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
