He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I need water and some morals
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize