ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
